The most wonderful time of the Year!! Isn’t that what they say?
But is that what you’re feeling? I mean...really?
Or is it a little different for you (as it used to be for me!)?
Are you feeling a bit of tension? A little anxiety?
When you think of shopping, and traffic, and people in the stores, and the parties, and the traveling to see the family, what do you feel in your body?
Maybe it’s a tightness in the chest?
Or a little dryness in your throat?
Perhaps these thoughts give you a headache?
Or is it in your stomach? Like a nervous butterfly fluttering around in there?
Do you feel like there’s not enough time? Like, ever!
Are you convinced that everything is going to be hard and that you’ll be overwhelmed?
What about your emotions? Are you experiencing more triggers and mood swings than usual?
Do you feel a sense of guilt or shame that you don’t share the holiday cheer that everyone else seems to enjoy?
Are you feeling impatient and maybe even short-tempered with your family?
Do you yearn to be more present, patient, and happy around your family and friends?
If any of these questions resonate with you, I have two things I’d like to tell you:
First, you’re not alone! On top of the ‘usual’ 77% of American adults who experience chronic stress, about 53% of people say their stress goes up even higher during the holidays. Yowza!
Second, (and this is the really good news!), it is very possible to rid yourself of the stress associated with the holidays and achieve all those wonderful feelings and emotions you feel you're missing out on.
Not only is it possible, but it's also super simple!
I’m not talking about vitamins or minerals or essential oils.
I’m not talking about costly and time-consuming gym memberships, yoga classes or massages.
I’m not talking about some nearly impossible diet or any other turn-you-life-upside-down solution.
I’m not talking about boycotting or canceling the Holidays. (Sorry if that’s where you thought this was heading!)
I’m not talking about reading a spiritual self-help book that will be a ‘Shelf Help’ book by New Year’s Day.
And I’m not talking about some kind of positive affirmations that you’ll forget to use when your stress is triggered. (more on this in a minute.)
What I’m talking about is simply and conveniently developing the habitual skill of processing the challenges in your life without any stress in your body.
What is habitual skill? I’ll come back to that in a sec.
But first, here’s the thing:
It’s very easy to think of all the things in our lives - the cooking, cleaning, shopping, traveling, Holidays - as stressful.
But not only is that an inaccurate way to see these experiences, labeling these things as stressful is actually creating stress in your body!
Because the traffic is not stressful. It’s just traffic.
Same with the rest of it: the cooking, cleaning, dealing with relatives, shopping, etc.
None of these things contain any stress at all.
The stress you experience in the face of all these life circumstances comes not from the circumstances themselves, but from the way you interact with these circumstances.
Stress is transactional!
And this applies to all areas of our lives! Not just the Holidays!
Because here’s the other thing: stress doesn’t make an appointment. It just shows up.
And once the stress begins, and your body goes into survival mode, you no longer have the ability to stay patient or manage your reactivity with simple reminders.
In fact, you don’t remember the reminders because the very part of your brain responsible for remembering things is turned off in the stress response. (This is why those positive affirmations and reminders don’t work once the stress is triggered in your body!)
Also, you don’t see your body’s reactions until it’s too late.
The body is giving you plenty of signals through your sensations and emotions, and expanding your awareness even just a little bit changes your relationship to stress in big ways.
Imagine you are standing on a railroad track and you can see a little puff of smoke from a train that's miles away. You can do virtually anything to steer clear of that train. So much so that the train poses no risk to you at all.
Now imagine the same train tracks, but now you look up and see the train only 100 feet away, barreling towards you. Now it’s a genuine life and death situation, and you must act very quickly to survive, right?
Same train. Same you. But a completely different level of… Stress.
So the key is to expand our awareness so we see our stressors and emotional triggers when they’re miles down the track.
Remember Habitual Skills?
Think about driving a car:
The first time you ever drove a car, you were probably really nervous and ran through a mental checklist of all the many aspects of operating a car: the seat belt, the mirrors, ‘ten and two’, etc.
But now, I could probably hand you the keys to just about any car in the world and you could hop in and start driving without a second thought.
The reason for this is that you’ve done the task so many times it has become a Habitual Skill.
Often, we get the feeling that it took our entire adult life to develop this habitual skill, but in fact, it took a few weeks.
So how long do you think it would take you to develop the habitual skill of handling stressors without triggering the stress response in your body?
Yep. Just a few weeks.
It really comes down to committing to simple and easy practices every day.
And it doesn’t matter how busy you are! These practices will weave into the things you’re already doing every day.
They become part of your everyday routine and that’s how they become habitual.
I know all of this from experience!
You see, I used to be part of that 77% of American adults who live with chronic stress. And it wasn’t just during the holidays! I mean, the holidays were when my stress was highest. But it was like going from a 9 to an 11.
Back then, I always thought there was no other way to live and if there was, I was way too busy to make it happen.
And it wasn’t only me who suffered! Just go ask my friends who I never called. Or my parents who I rarely saw. Or my family, who experienced the wild pendulum of my emotions first hand.
Of course, there was plenty of suffering for me, too...
Just ask my doctors, who warned me for years about my alarmingly high blood pressure, my unhealthy diet, my obesity, and my lack of exercise.
And if you’re still not convinced, you can ask any in a long line of bartenders I tried to give all my money to for so many years.
Seriously, stress was ruining my life and if I hadn’t taken action to control it, stress would have probably taken me down with a heart attack at 49 years old.
Yeah… I was that guy.
Spoiler alert: I’m 51 and I’m still alive. And for the past ten years, I have been thriving instead of merely surviving.
Where I used to just ‘Get Through’ things like the holidays (and every day of my life!), I now enjoy every moment for the gift it is.
Really, it is so simple to enjoy even the challenging times in our lives.
You are not trapped in the stressful life you think you are!
Seriously, anyone can learn how to manage their stress and end the pain and suffering for good.
But it takes practice.
And if you don’t know how to do the practices, you’ll never build the habitual skill.
For years I thought handling stressful situations was about being tough and muscling through it…
Or reminding myself to be patient…
Or just holding in my reactions…
Or that maybe I was just the kind of person who had a lot of stress in my life.
Remember the Habitual Skills?
The idea is that once you do something, in the right way, for a few weeks, it becomes an automatic habit.
A habit is simply something your body knows how to do better than your mind does.
That’s why it works with the stress response!
There’s no need to remember anything when your nervous system has been hijacked by stress. As I mentioned earlier, remembering is one of the things your brain can’t do during the stress response.
That’s why I have developed a method of coaching people in mindfulness exercises that is built on the foundations of simple and clear practices that I weave into my Clients’ lives so they never have to invest more than 10 minutes per day to achieve the life-changing benefits of stress reduction I enjoy to this day.
And I am super excited to tell you about the latest, brand new program I’m offering:
Mindful for the Holidays.
What is it?
It's short and sweet! Five meetings in five days in which I teach you a new technique each day. These are a mix of formal and informal practices that have been used for millennia to help people live happy, healthy, and fulfilling lives that are free from stress.
Who is it for?
This program is for anyone who feels the tension I described above and is ready to take action - less than ten minutes per day - to reduce the stress in their life (your life!) forever!
When does it happen?
Mindful for the Holidays begins on Monday, December 14th, and continues every day until Friday, December 18th. All calls will happen at 10 am PST/ 11 am MST / 12 pm CST / 1 pm EST
If you’re worried that you can’t attend every meeting, don’t be! Just email me your question and I will address it and give an answer in the meeting which will be recorded so you can watch it later.
How does it work?
Super simple! Once you register, I will email you a link to our daily Zoom meeting.
The Zoom link you receive will be the one to use for every day of the program. But don’t worry, I’ll send it out again every day, just so it’s handy!
Each meeting will last about an hour, with plenty of time for questions. During the call, I will teach you a simple practice that you’ll do each day. I promise they are super easy, feel great, and take no more than a few minutes. So please don’t feel overwhelmed! I will send you written instructions for each practice and I am available during the week via email to answer any questions you might have. You’ll be covered!
How much does this program cost?
Normally, my coaching sessions cost $100 per hour. So this course is worth over 500 bucks!
But this is 2020 and this holiday season is going to trigger people on a level we’ve never seen before. For this reason, I wanted to make this opportunity accessible to everyone. So I’m discounting it for the first ten people to sign up.
When you sign up for this mini mindfulness course, you’ll get:
Explanation and demonstration of 5 key mindfulness practices that will serve you and those around you for years to come.
Written references to all five practices.
Inclusion in a community of other, like-minded people who are on the same path as you.
Entry to a private FB group that will remain open after the end of the course. In this group, you’ll find support and encouragement from your new peers.
Email support from me, a certified Mindfulness Meditation Coach.
The cost for all of this is $97!
How do I join?
Even more super simple! Just click on this link and fill out the simple form. You’ll receive an email with everything else in about 12 hours.
At the end of the five days, you will have the tools to be able to:
Focus your mind and regulate your emotions like an expert!
Ground yourself anytime, anywhere, so you can remain calm and patient.
Respond, don’t react, to the insensitive remark from a relative at the Holiday Dinner.
Stop feeling resentment or anger for other people (no matter how they push your buttons).
Rescue yourself after you’ve been triggered (even during a holiday dinner)
See the positive potential in every person and situation (seriously!).
Speak to yourself with kindness and support. (I promise it’s not as silly as it sounds!)
Here’s what a few of my clients have to say about my coaching:
Presence is a Superpower!
Jared L. What can I say. Art helped me develop the superpower of presence through meditation. It’s been a delight and a life changing experience developing this practice over the past 90 days. Even the busiest of people will have time to develop this meditation practice. If you have questions about meditation, Art has answers. I had a great experience working with Art. I work in the fire service with a lot of stress and a very unpredictable schedule. Art’s meditation methods helped improve my mental health exponentially. He is very attentive and is flexible with your time and development. 2020 could have been a disappointing year to look back on, but thanks to Art and his teachings it’s been a year of metamorphosis and the beginning of a better version of self.
An Exceptional Teacher!
I’ve had many teachers in my life, and many great ones. Art is one of the most exceptional teachers I’ve ever had. He is honest, fair, and trustworthy. He describes in profound ways and yet incredibly comprehensible terms. But most of all, he teaches from experience and true compassion. These are the two qualities needed in some of the best teachers. If you’re looking for a real way to heal, for a real way to forgive yourself and others, for a real way to destress and take control over a life that feels like it’s controlling you...try Art. Learn from him. Remember him. You will thank him, and yourself, for years to come.
He Has a Wealth of Knowledge to Share...
Working with Art has been surprisingly healing. And I say surprisingly only to highlight two factors: First, I've unsuccessfully tried meditation several times before; second, our work has encompassed much more than just meditation--which originally was my solitary goal. Art has assisted me in reconnecting with myself through a multitude of techniques--in addition to meditation. During a very frightening time in my life, Art has been able to prompt me (very carefully) to self-explore and self-actualize. It was very difficult for me to discern where, how, and why my true issues originated until Art gently nudged me to complete an exercise. While the exercise was challenging, it was exactly what I needed to begin my healing process. Since working with Art, I've felt inspired versus guilted, and interested versus dread. I know that he will help me to slow down, focus, breathe, and move. I've felt genuine care from Art during our sessions, but, most importantly, following our sessions. He frequently checks in with me, sends me inspirational prompts to further rediscover myself, and is always available and professional. I'd highly recommend Art Burns Coaching and I'd especially recommend taking advantage of more than just his meditation lessons. He has a wealth of knowledge to share!
A Wonderful Addition to my Life!
Absolutely wonderful addition to my life! Ive learned so much from myself when working with Art. He demonstrates compassion and understanding in very thoughtful, progressive and most importantly, ways that challenge my own awareness of my self compassion and my actions towards others! Working in groups has been amazing to reflect gratitude and empathy through others' experiences. 🙏💗🤙
I Would HIGHLY Recommend!
I would recommend highly. He is helping me to learn how to finally control my stress levels. My stress level got to such a strong out of control level that I end up getting cancer. After realizing I need to change in order to live, I was guided by fate to go to this Sunday lecture. I decide to do individual coaching after that and best decision ever.. My cancer doctor has noticed a strong improvement.. I am the most healthiest stage 3 cancer patient she ever had. That has to do with Mr. Burns with teaching me on how to control my stress levels. In turn, I am learning to heal my body.
Art is One of The Best! Doris B. Art Burns is one of he best coaches I've experienced. When you work with Art you'll experience a coach who provides you with individualized caring attention. He is highly knowledgeable of stress reduction and mindfulness practices that will enable you to incorporate daily practices that lead to you being less stressed, more compassionate toward yourself and others and live a more purposeful life.